At the core of human psychology lies a complex, often unconscious, process of self-construction, where the identity we embrace and project — our "preferred self" — is significantly shaped by what we omit as much as by what we accept. The works in this book explore the intricate interplay between the omissions in our self-concept and the role of our inner authorities (confirmation biases) in reinforcing these omissions, revealing in the process a profound aspect of our cognitive and psychological existence.
Our journey of self-construction is a selective process, where we continuously curate and edit our identity. This editing involves not just the inclusion of certain traits, beliefs, and experiences but also the critical exclusion of others (when we draw a distinction we exclude, with the problem being that when we draw one we are already trading on the back of incomplete information). These omissions, which can be both conscious and unconscious, are not mere absences; they are also active choices that shape the contours of our preferred self, self-narrative. They represent the aspects of our history, desires, and traits that we choose to distance ourselves from, in line with Freud's observation that people tend to have as little in common with their authentic selves as possible. This self-curation is a form of narrative construction, where we craft a version of ourselves that aligns with our desires, societal expectations, and the need for a coherent identity.
Confirmation biases play a crucial role in this narrative construction. They act as the guardians of our self-narrative, selectively filtering information and experiences to reinforce our preferred self. These biases favor perceptions and interpretations that align with our self-constructed identity, while downplaying or ignoring those that challenge it. This process creates a feedback loop, where our omissions shape our biases, and our biases, in turn, reinforce our omissions. It's a dance of self-deception and self-revelation, where we are both the architects and the prisoners of our self-concept.
This overarching narrative highlights the complexity of the human psyche. It suggests that our understanding of ourselves and the world is not a straightforward process of perceiving and responding to reality but is deeply influenced by the narratives we construct and maintain. These narratives are built as much on the foundations of what we choose not to see — our omissions — as on what we choose to acknowledge. Recognizing this dynamic invites us to a deeper level of self-awareness and understanding. It challenges us to look beyond the surface of our beliefs and perceptions, to explore the depths of what we have omitted from our self-narrative. By confronting and understanding these omissions, we can begin to uncover a more authentic and complete sense of self, moving towards a more honest and comprehensive narrative of who we are, what it is that we want, and why it is that we want it.
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Praise for On Giving Up by Adam Phillips
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